Seventeen Muses

My Video

2010-08-23T23:07:00.001-07:00

I was bored and couped up in the house for a time so I decided to make this.

Sayarynth!

2010-07-23T20:32:00.000-07:00

Finally, I got my site up, Sayarynth. It's going to be a fairly static portfolio site. Not all the pages are up (clearly) but it's the first time my site has had a layout since March.

I love summer for the ability to get into all my old hobbies again, such as web design and photography. It's turning out to be a pretty good post-Italia summer. Not at all bad.

Visit Sayarynth.com?

Cinque Terre

2010-07-22T13:20:00.000-07:00

This post is not for the light-hearted.

Cinque Terre, Italy: the most beautiful place on earth.

Home of blue, sparkling waters...

...and sharp rocks...

Hey there rocks, please meet my back which is just dying to be ripped open by you.

6 numbing shots, 3 horse-sized stitches, and a pain-killer shot later...

And there is going to be a most excellent scar from this.

I got back to the states and got the stiches removed two weeks later. I quote, "Wow, look everyone, Italian stitches! What the heck are these made out of?" says the doctor.

But who cares because the Italian doctor rode up on a bike. How awesome is that?

Inception

2010-07-20T11:43:00.000-07:00

Go see it. Blew my mind.

Waiting

2010-07-15T20:14:00.000-07:00

I move out mid-September. I love my home, I love my parents, but I could not be more ready to leave this place and live on my own. There is nothing left for me here and college dangles like a carrot in front of my face. I am ready to start the rest of my life. Being here feels like waiting at a roadblock that is stopping me from obtaining my freedom and progress.

Don't get me wrong, I'll miss home when I move out but after Italy I know that I'm ready for it and I can handle it. I mean, I got three stitches in a foreign country surrounded by people I had known a week! But that's a story for another time.

For the time being, I have to try and enjoy this summer of waiting, try and get a job and recover some money. It won't be easy but I know I should try and savor time at home before I go away to college. Two months.

Mr. Accordion Player

2010-07-10T19:20:00.000-07:00

Basically the coolest thing since sliced bread.

Goodbye

2010-07-05T21:47:00.000-07:00

I'm running out of ways to make you see

I want you to stay here beside me

I won't be ok and I won't pretend I am

So just tell me today and take my hand

Please take my hand

Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back

It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind

Only love

It's so simple and you know it is

You know it is

We can't be to and fro like this

All our lives

You're the only way to me

The path is clear

What do I have to say to you

For Gods sake, dear

Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back

It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind

Only love

Just say yes, coz I'm aching and I know you are too

For the touch of your warm skin

As I breathe you in

I can feel your heart beat through my shirt

This was all I wanted, all I want

It's all I want

Lyrics by Snow Patrol - "Just Say Yes"

Home Sweet Home

2010-07-04T10:17:00.000-07:00

I got into California at 10:30 last night. My return flight from Italy took 2.5 hours more than the trip there which was devastating and I was about an hour late to New York which gave me an hour to get through customs and on my next flight. It was hellish. And then the airline left my suitcase in New York so it's landing soon and being sent over to us today. Everything of value is in that suitcase. I have a headful of stories to tell so I'm going to begin sifting through my pictures and posting some things.

The return is bittersweet. Yes, it feels amazing to be home. I took a shower without flipflops last night and slept in real PJs instead of a reduced version of what I wore that day. My towel got me completely dry before feeling soaking wet and I put on clean socks. My bed felt like the softest thing in the world and my pillows actually raised my head more than an inch off the mattress.

At the same time, there is a part of me who will always feel like Firenze is my home. These last three weeks were the most intense of my life. I have two homes now and while I am glad to be in the one most deeply rooted in my heart, part of me will always yearn for Firenze.

For the time being, I am glad to be home and I need to be home. I'll explain in my stories later but I am pretty beaten up right now and if I didn't come home today, I could have been in some serious trouble out there.

Glad to be back. :)

Happy Father's Day, Daddy!

2010-06-20T05:00:00.000-07:00

Sorry I can't be there. I'm going to try my best to call you!!!

Love,
Angela

Tomorrow

2010-06-02T15:00:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I leave for Italy bright and early in the morning. I'll arrive there about 3:00AM California time on Friday morning (it'll be noon Friday in Italy). I won't be able to blog, update, or talk to people in general for a month. I come back July 3rd close to midnight.

CIAO!

My Graduation

2010-05-31T20:26:00.000-07:00

The highlight of the night was the guest speaker.

Koli Palu worked at my school so he was asked to speak at my graduation as the keynote speaker. It was truly the coolest thing that happened to me that evening.

And then I stayed up until 5 in the morning eating gummy worms, getting my mind blown by performers, gambling, and playing on jumpies.

Next stop: Italy.

The End

2010-05-28T12:20:00.000-07:00

High school is officially over. I'm on to bigger, better, and badder things.

And I could not be more ready.

High School

2010-05-27T12:00:00.000-07:00

The perfect metaphor for how I feel now that it is almost over:

I'll give you a hint: I am not the cheetah.

Two-Faced

2010-05-26T12:00:00.000-07:00

From the Academy of Sciences trip.

I wish I were a butterfly. I could decide who I wanted to be just with a flap of my wings.

Looking Up

2010-05-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

This is from our SF Academy of Sciences trip I took with my folks and Robyn. This is the view looking up from the aquarium into the jungle. It was spectacular.

More photos will be coming!

April Showers Bring...

2010-05-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

More showers in May?!?!?!

Something is wrong with this world.

Where are you, summer???

Farewell Spring

2010-05-23T16:11:00.000-07:00

I was so happy when winter finally came to an end. The harsh cold and frost receded and everything bloomed. Now that spring is ending, I'm having a hard time believing I was excited to see it in the first place. It rained like crazy. So here's hoping the rain is gone (especially since it's supposed to rain on graduation) and that the sun will rein from here on out until September.

My mom's Clementius has lost all its lovely petals. These were taken in April when it was in full bloom.

My mom and I found a gap in the flowers and we decided to stick our friendly feline Skittle in for a picture.

"Where the heck are you putting me?"

"I don't belong in there."

And then the panic sets in.

"Lemme go!!! Lemme go!!! Lemme go!!!"

"I hate you all."

If a cat doesn't want to do something, you cannot force them (unless of course you enjoy scratches on your face). Even the pincer bug didn't want its picture taken.

Farewell spring. I can't say the rain will be missed but the flowers sure will (except by Skittles).

Early Thanksgiving

2010-05-21T18:16:00.000-07:00

Between the raccoons that ravage our gardens looking for grubs and the blue jays that drink the hummingbird food, we ought to have purchased a gun by now. Last week, the case to buy a gun was strengthened with a ~~little~~ visitor we had.

What's that?

A bird???

A WILD TURKEY!!!

He clucked around our yard for a while but if we got too close or too loud, he jumped the fence and was gone into the vineyard. I love where we live. The snakes are worth living with for the occasional wild turkey sighting.

Goodbye...

2010-05-20T19:42:00.000-07:00

I ~~might~~ ~~possibly~~ will cry.

Sunday night, I will be glued to the TV. Who cares about the critical chem final I have the next day? Lost takes precedence. I have four years to study chemistry but there is but one more night of Lost. I will chow down on leftover cake and ice cream. It will be epic.

One. More. Month.

2010-05-02T19:37:00.000-07:00

I'm going to go insane.

31 days. 31 days. 31 days.

ITALY!!!

May Resolutions

2010-05-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

I decided to go easy on this month because I have so much happening. This month...

I have AP exams.
I turn 18.
I have finals.
I graduate.
Is the last month before I leave for Italy.

Here goes my resolutions!

...

Really, I tried. I can't think of anything I need to get done or anything I want to pressure myself into doing.

I guess there's no real resolutions this month. I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing and focus on reading, writing, school, and enjoying life.

I think I can do those things. And I have a feeling this is going to be a very, very good month.

April Resolutions: Follow-Up

2010-04-30T19:01:00.000-07:00

Following up on my April Resolutions! I did pretty well this month. New resolutions coming out tomorrow.

1. Make a firm, happy decision with colleges and submit my intent to register before May 1st so that I avoid any and all server fiascoes
Check!
In the words of Snow Patrol, Just Say Yes (funny because this song just came on Pandora--it's a sign!).

2. Get my running up to 2 miles by the end of the month
Check!
Funny because I did this today on the last day of the month. Today I ran a 5K, which is about 3.1ish miles. So not only did I complete this, surpassing my 2 miles but I ran 2 miles of it, intermixed with walking of course. I got my run up to two months but out of the 3.1ish miles I did, I ran a solid 2! This is a huge accomplishment for me. I've never done a 5K. Next weekend I want to walk a 10K with my mom.

3. Finish Grapes of Wrath, Watership Down, and one other novel
Half-Check!
I finished both Grapes of Wrath and Watership Down but I have not completed a third. I'm a bit over halfway through Ender's Game and I'm going to try and finish it tonight but I may finish it tomorrow.

4. Finish Nightingale
Check!
I did the impossible!

5. Make an awesome senior project presentation!
Check!
I was freaking out about it but I got up there and I was myself and I feel like I did justice to Nightingale. I passed with Honors!

6. Create a days-till-I-graduate countdown
Check!
I did this on our refridgerator whiteboard.

It's updated as of today! 20 days!

7. Apply to a few scholarships
Check!
I applied to three very good local ones, all of which I have a chance at getting. I also recieved another small check from a local organization for being student of the month.

8. Blog more... ?
Failed...
Uhm, no comment.

9. Take more photos (at least once a day???)
Failed...
No.

10. Work on doing one pull-up/one push-up
Half-Check!
I worked on both for sure. I still can't do either. I guess that's not entirely my resolution but I would like to do one of each at some point.

Hey, I'd say I did pretty good this month! Lucky because this has been a really tough, long month. Needless to say I'm looking forward to May. I have AP exams next week and my birthday is the week after.

I Did It

2010-04-25T09:59:00.000-07:00

I finished Nightingale.

I don't even know what to think or feel but it's done and printed and beautiful.

150 pages.

109,000 words.

2 years.

Wow.

Now what?

My presentation on Nightingale is Tuesday night and that morning, I have another presentation for Rotary Club for winning a Senior Student of the Month award where I have to also talk about Nightingale. Big day on Tuesday. I'm very excited and very nervous. I haven't done public speaking in about a year so I'm going to be in front of my mirror today for at least four hours. Wish me luck!

"The Life"

2010-04-19T07:37:00.000-07:00

Felines live in such a delicate balance between cuteness and laziness. Typically it seems they lay in one trait or the other.

I haven't decided which Skittles is.

I'm leaning towards lazy.

Misc.

2010-04-17T12:28:00.000-07:00

I've been getting a lot done recently (except for blogging). I have a couple other posts planned but that would require digging up my camera and effort.

I ran 1.3 and 1.5 miles Thursday and yesterday respectively. I haven't run a mile in about three years. My leg muscles feel a bit like Jello and ball bearings mixed together but I am unbelievably proud of myself, albeit, not proud enough to post my times. I will say that day two, I ran the first mile in about 2 minutes less than one mile had taken me the day before. I'm trying to work up to two miles by the end of the month but because of the patchy weather, I'm not sure that'll happen.

Nightingale is actually going well. I feel the end and I am unbelievably sad. I have six scenes yet to write but I've been putting it off because I know when I'm done, the emptiness of not having a such a massive project on my hands will come.

In other news, I graduate in 6 weeks. It could not come sooner. I've decided that I hate high school and I'm bored in all of my classes. AP tests are really the only things that matter anymore. I'm counting the days till I walk across that stage and get the insignificant piece of paper that really isn't a good enough reward for the life-consuming work I've put into the last four years. Leaving the country a week later is the true reward.

My school's Prom is tonight which means I'm going out to Thai food tonight with Robyn (and thus not going to Prom). Neither of us have had Thai so it's going to be a real experience. I'll take pictures of my food and post them to make you jealous and hungry.

On a totally random note, this picture makes me miss my short hair like no other. It also makes me miss the amount of eyeliner I used to wear. Why don't I wear eyeliner anymore?

And this picture makes me miss my long, beautiful, straight hair. I'm determined to have long hair again but I hate, hate, hate the growing out process. It's awful and wavy and cut stupidly right now. I can't have hair like that in college though. I'll break my hairbrushes and spend all my limited budget on shampoo.

UC Santa Barbara

2010-04-12T15:21:00.000-07:00

YES!

Two Months

2010-04-03T15:04:00.000-07:00

I leave for Italy in two months.

I know that seems like a long time but I cannot contain my excitement.

April Resolutions

2010-04-01T12:04:00.000-07:00

I'm tempted to put a bunch of stuff on here that I know I will do (such as breathe) because of last month's failures. But, I have to be true to myself and work hard so here goes.

Make a firm, happy decision with colleges and submit my intent to register before May 1st so that I avoid any and all server fiascoes

Get my running up to 2 miles by the end of the month

Finish Grapes of Wrath, Watership Down, and one other novel

Finish Nightingale

Make an awesome senior project presentation!

Create a days-till-I-graduate countdown

Apply to a few scholarships

Blog more... ?

Take more photos (at least once a day???)

Work on doing one pull-up/one push-up

Laugh all you want but I really can't do a single pull-up or push-up. I can go on for hours with crunches but my arm strength is nearly inexistent. I'd like to change that, mostly to shake my father's mockery.

Also, as an unofficial goal, I'd like to keep up my weight loss. I've lost 20 pounds since Thanksgiving, 13 since the beginning of the year, and 10 in the last two months. I'm narrowing down on my goal which is fifteen more by graduation. I'm doing so well but with Easter and with plenty to celebrate, it'll be tough this month. Wish me luck!

I have a good feeling about this month (which may or may not have anything to do with the first two weeks of it being taken up by spring break).

March Resolutions: Follow-Up

2010-03-31T18:12:00.000-07:00

Hey folks, it's the last day of March (thank goodness)! So here it is in response to my March Resolutions!

1. Do not stress, worry, or break down before, during, or after a college decision Check!
Well, this was a hard thing to do (to say the least). I was accepted to 4/6 places I applied (including my Italian art school) and I am 99% sure I know where I'm going. It's a great feeling. Overall, I did a good job. Only a tear was shed when Stanford denied me.

2. Lose another 5 pounds Nearly Check!
FIVE? I could have sworn I put this at four... I lost 4.6 pounds this month. Close enough, right? 20 pounds down from Thanksgiving which is cool. Two people today noticed my weight loss and asked me about it. I've been dropping the weight faster lately. I might be able to reach my goal by graduation.

3. Finish at least 3 books Half Check!?
Well, I finished 2. But I am about halfway through both Watership Down and Grapes of Wrath. I love them both dearly and intend to finish them over spring break.

4. Blog more often Failed!
Well I flat out failed this one. No comment. End of story. Kthxbai.

5. Up my running intensity to 2 miles by the end of the month Failed!
Oops... I forgot about this one. To be perfectly fair, the weather took a turn and I haven't been able to go running in over a week. I can do 1 2/3 of a mile and I know I'm getting stronger and better so I think I'll do this eventually.

6. Keep my room clean Half Check!
I slipped once but I'm doing it now!

7. Get within 90% of finishing Nightingale Failed!
Hahaha... Ha... No.

8. Finish at least half of my senior project presentation Failed!
I really should print these out so that I know what I'm supposed to do. I'm reading this going, "What? I told myself I'd do this???"

9. Take more photographs Failed!
I took a few. Maybe more. Who knows. For good measure, we'll say I failed.

So much for my great, triumphant month. Did I accomplish anything great this month? I'm not so sure. But I'm somehow still optimistic about next month. New resolutions will surface tomorrow and I'll be printing them out and taping them to my headboard.

To Anwser Your Question: Yes

2010-03-29T16:11:00.000-07:00

I plan on finishing Nightingale over spring break, like this pleasant little post says.

So here's my progress: I have from April 1st till the 11th--although I'm making it an even two weeks and I started working on the plans for it last night. I have 11 more scenes so if I knocked out one scene a day, minus the days I'm going to be busy, I could do it.

Problem is it usually takes me about a week per scene but I have some started and a lot of them are short (I hope). I mapped out the rest of the story and I'm hoping for the best!

So to answer your question: Yes, I am insane.

In other news, I'm not doing so hot on my monthly resolutions, particularly the book one. I am heavily engrossed in about 6 large, dense books now and I'm not going to be finishing any of them in the next two days. I will however, be finishing about three of them in the week and a half that follows.

Maybe I'm planning too much during spring break?!?!

College Decisions

2010-03-28T08:37:00.000-07:00

Well, I got denied to Stanford, after all that. Surprisingly, I freaked out a lot less than I did during that little incidence.

I was also denied from UC Berkeley, which actually wasn't a big deal because I don't like the school, it was fourth on my list, and we have a hunch that they denied me because they can't afford to give big scholarships to people.

However, I was accepted into three fine schools and my choice is down to two: UC Santa Barbara and UC Davis.

The fact of the matter is, I'd rather go to Santa Barbara. End of story. The reality is, it's a day's-drive away from my folks. Transportation is expensive. I tried weighing the pros and cons of the schools.

UCSB and UCD are pretty evenly matched academically.
They both have 5 majors I am interested in.
They both have very strong biology/physical sciences departments.
They both accept about the same amount of people and have similar-sized campuses.
They are both awesome campuses.
They are both offering me amazing, and similar financial packages.
However, UCSB is in Santa Barbara, on the beach. I've also been in love with the school since fourth grade (I had a sweatshirt-who wears a college sweatshirt in elementary school???).
But UCD is a lot closer to home.

Why is this distance from home thing hanging me up so much? If it weren't for that, I'd be jumping over to Santa Barbara like it was no body's business. This shouldn't be the deciding factor. But I am so hung up on it.

Which is really funny because this was not going through my mind a year ago when I was visiting these schools. It was more like, "Yeah! I'm super far from home! I get to live independently!" And now it's like, "NO! Mommy, Daddy, who's going to do my laundry???"

And I have to keep asking myself: laundry or...

This decision should be soooo much easier.

Is it crazy... ?

2010-03-23T06:30:00.000-07:00

Is it crazy that I'm planning on finishing Nightingale over spring break? I'm probably about 70-90% done with it (I think) but I have a feeling that I could wrap it up pretty quickly and start editing it.

That's a page from my senior project portfolio.

I already have plans to get Nightingale over to Office Depot and bulk print it for my senior project presentation (April 27th) so I have to finish a rough draft by at least then. After that, I can edit the hard copy and work it out to perfection.

No, I really don't know when I want to send this out to a publisher. Not yet. That's all I know. I think I'll know when I should. It'll feel right for the time. Now does not feel right. Write?

PS: Remind me to refrain from puns in the future.

Job?

2010-03-21T09:54:00.001-07:00

Howdie world, I've been out of reach for a considerable amount of time, haven't I?

Good news always comes with bad news: my summer art school only gave me a little, tiny scholarship. Which means now I need a job to pay for this trip. The hunt is on!

I swear, the good news in that seemed better in my head...

So yesterday, Robyn and I walked around for a solid 2 hours, gathering applications (only 2 places actually gave them to us), and scouring the town for places that were hiring. Only two places actually were hiring so we went back to his house and I filled out the application for the more desirable one, and turned it on the way to pick up dinner. It's this cute frozen yogurt shop that serves delicious, low-calorie yogurt and they are hiring! It's close enough to my school that I could walk if I needed and it's near the bus route if I was coming from home. It just seems perfect.

In other news, I'm trying to sell my web designs now. My site (Sayarynth) will be going under construction soon and I'm going to remodel it. I'm very excited, to say the least. I'm hoping I can scrap together some money from that.

I also want to start babysitting (seeing as I live down the street from an elementary school) so I'm going to put together fliers and distribute them at some point.

How is it so hard for a teen to make a couple of bucks in this world? Luckily I still have virtually all the money I made last summer ~~in my own personal hell~~ at my summer internship at the chemistry lab.

I wish I could get a job with my cooking experiments.

I'm going to Italy!

2010-03-08T20:26:00.000-08:00

I was accepted to the art school in Italy today! This is the single thing that my happiness has been riding on for the last week and today, the fateful email came. Fortunately for my sanity, they put the admission decision in the subject line (I think I would have died from my heart skipping beats if I had had to open it before knowing).

Everyone has been so supportive and I thank everyone who told me they knew I could do it. It feels great that I got in on my skill and not my academics. I didn't send transcripts. All I sent was an art profile, an application, and a lovely letter of recommendation from my amazing art teacher.

I am beyond words right now. I could not have asked for a better Monday. I am looking forward to June... Flying again, leaving this place for a month (although I will miss my friends and family dearly), and seeing the world for myself. I'll be staying in a youth hostel with five other art students. There are 2 days off in this intensive 3-week program of about 14 hours a day. I got the schedule and we will be travelling everywhere. I'm keeping a journal and will blog it all when I get back in July.

My next step is learning Italian. I have three Italian dictionaries, including one verb conjugating dictionary, a Standard Deviants DVD, the Internet, and an Italian-speaking mother at my disposal. I think I'm going to do well. I'm journaling my progress. I also have about 7 books on Tuscany and the cities within it, 3 maps of the areas I'm going to be visiting, and a Rick Steves travel book on the region.

I AM STOKED!!!

Watership Down

2010-03-04T06:10:00.000-08:00

I've been reading Watership Down as one of my books for March.

It's about rabbits. And it's totally weird because I definitely really like it... This book about rabbits...

Allison reminded me that it was in Lost way back from another season. I sort of remember it. For the life of me, I can't find the scene but I did find what Sawyer says when he gets asked about it:

"Hell of a book. It's about bunnies."

That cracks me up but it really sums of the book nicely. There's not much else to say about it. It's well-written and it's about rabbits.

Recommended!

March Resolutions

2010-03-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

I new month, a newly refreshed list of resolutions. Some of them are a bit similar to February but I'm hoping by renewing them, they stay fresh. It'll do another follow-up on this one too.

Now this is a crazy month for me because while I don't have a lot to do, I start hearing back from colleges, starting March 8th.

Do not stress, worry, or break down before, during, or after a college decision

Lose another 5 pounds

Finish at least 3 books

Blog more often

Up my running intensity to 2 miles by the end of the month

Keep my room clean

Get within 90% of finishing Nightingale

Finish at least half of my senior project presentation

Take more photographs

This is going to be a great, triumphant month, I just know it. Mostly because Stanford's decision won't be coming until April to disappoint me. I'm going to run more, live more, breathe more, and love more.

Cheers to March 2010 and the coming months ahead!

Broomball

2010-02-28T13:04:00.001-08:00

Broomball, my new favorite game in the world. You give 30+ kids sticks and helmets and you're sure to have a great time. It's a game played on an ice rink with a rubber ball and sticks called "brooms" although they look like a cross between a lacrosse stick and a hockey stick. You wear shoes instead of skates so your feet feel like they've gotten frostbite within about 10 minutes. The rules are the same as hockey only we had 15+ players on each side, instead of 6, and you can kick the ball as well.

It was epic.

I think I have at least ten bruises, three of which are on my right knee and shin and look gnarly. I played defense the whole time which basically meant I made mad dashes towards the walls to cut the offense off, usually missed the ball because the sticks are way smaller than hockey sticks, and proceeded to fall on my ass. I am not a competitive person but the beast came out last night and I had a blast. Overall I did a good job and although we had one guy on our team and were against a team of mostly guys, we won 5-3.

In other news, as a follow up on the February resolutions, I lost five pounds this month, not just four and I did finish Dear John today. It was sad. I cried. It broke my heart. I hope I never have to deal with a situation like that. I'm scared to watch the movie because I'll probably just cry more.

I'll post my March resolutions tomorrow.

February Resolutions: Follow-Up

2010-02-26T19:42:00.000-08:00

This is in relation to my February Resolutions! I know February isn't quite done yet...

1. Keep bedroom spotless Check!
For the most part, this was true. I slipped a bit towards the end when deadlines were crazy but I plan on cleaning it back to spotlessness again tomorrow morning or tonight (February isn't done yet).

2. Finish Senior Project portfolio (sort of mandatory for my graduating) Check!
Of course I did this! I finished about a week before many of the people in my school and it's already turned in. Lots of stress gone!

3. Watch less TV Half Check!
Well the Olympics killed this. But other than those and my normal shows, yes, I did watch less TV. This was a bad resolution was this month.

4. Work out more Check!
I definitely did this. Anyone who is close to me can testify. I've been doing balance ball cardio interval training and I've been going on really awesome runs where I do over a mile of run/walk intervals. I even added sprints and a third of a mile more last time! The rain has been really unfortunate though and now that I'm getting the hang of this, I'd like to add in more strength training. March resolutions?

5. Lose another 4 pounds Hopeful Check (pending)!
I know I have lost 3 pounds this month at least but I don't weight in until tomorrow morning. Thus far though, I have lost 12 pounds from Thanksgiving time. Go calorie counting! No, I don't think I'm too young for this. It gives me a better understanding of food and makes me more aware of my health. I recommend it to anyone, even if you just want to maintain your weight.

6. Do ALL my calculus homework Check!
Except for the night where I was convinced we didn't have homework, yes. And even then, she didn't check it and she doesn't care so yay! For your information, I have at least a 114% in the class so don't preach me about being a bad student. I won't hear it.

7. Finish at least 3 books Hopefully Check!
I've finished 2 so far: Blood and Chocolate and The Lovely Bones. Both were great but I liked The Lovely Bones better. Very well written. But anyway, things got busy and I'm about a fifth of the way through my third, Dear John which I am desperately going to try and finish this weekend but I don't know if I can. I won't beat myself up about it though. Things have been insane with all these deadlines.

8. Blog more often Check!
I blogged more than January but not by much apparently. This will be added again to March's resolutions.

9. And of course I want to live to my full potential, in happiness, health, and education. Check!
I think I have definitely done this. Despite all the stress, this month has been incredibly productive and I've balanced my health and happiness well while getting things done.

I'm excited to write March's resolutions! It's good to know I didn't outright fail any of these!

The Village

2010-02-25T07:02:00.000-08:00

I should just do all my photography on miniatures.

Freedom!

2010-02-24T07:43:00.000-08:00

I have just finished all my projects due March 1st! I am free until then! Free!

I completed the following this month:

1. Senior Project Portfolio
2. Cal Grant and FAFSA
3. Italian Art School Application
4. County Scholarship Packet

Okay, so five things doesn't look or sound like a lot but it took so much work and I'm very proud of myself. Heck yes. And I managed to read two books this month so far. I'm starting my third today so I'm hoping to finish by the end of the month.

This was a successful month.

I can survive in college.
I can survive in college.
I can survive in college.
I can survive in college.
I can survive in college.

Next step: WAIT.

College decisions start coming in March. I'm so nervous, so excited, and I can't wait for March to be over and done with. Stanford decision comes out April 1st.

Fingers crossed!

PS- Lost? What the hell? You promised us answers this episode only to tell us you can't show us a preview for next week because the answers come then? I'm beginnning to not believe you anymore.

Dear Monday,

2010-02-22T14:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Monday,

You illicit fear from full grown men. You make students cry and teachers tremble in their boots. You bring all of civilization into a well of angst.

Okay, I may be exaggerating a bit but you could take it easy on us, once in a while. Just maybe.

In any case, I finished my art piece for the Italian art school and I'm mailing the application either today or tomorrow. I have this other piece that I may or may not include but I don't have a good slide of it yet.

So yes, that is a close representation to what my backyard looks like. The clouds are easily the best part. Could you tell?

And this is my most recent piece for my portfolio. I love it. I just need a better slide of it.

As far as things due on March 1st go...
-~~Senior Project Portfolio~~
-FAFSA (today)
-~~Cal Grant~~
-Art School Application (today or tomorrow)
-Scholarships (4)

So it looks like I'll be working on scholarships this week! Oh the joys of being a high school senior. I think I'll take a break today, nap, finish The Lovely Bones, and go on a run. I am set on making today good.

Saturday

2010-02-20T10:41:00.000-08:00

Why is my to-do list longer than it usually is? I have...
-History homework
-Calc homework to review
-Chemistry homework
-Landscape painting
-Senior Project
-Scholarships
-Cal Grant
-A messy room
-The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

Most of which, I am looking to finish. The Lovely Bones is amazing. Haunting, thrilling, and a really good book for late-night reading. The first chapter is almost unbearable to read as Susie Salmon describes her rape and murder as if she were commenting on the weather. I'm over halfway through it and I have no idea what to expect. Definitely not predictable.

Next on my reading list is...
-Dear John (I have to keep convincing myself that I am not a cheap reader just because I've been reading all these movie books)
-The Notebook (a lot of convincing...)
-A Clash of Kings (started-book 2 of a 4-book fantasy series I own until the next 3 were planned... need to catch up!)
-Pride and Prejudice (started)

Now to get to it!

Too Much

2010-02-18T12:00:00.000-08:00

I think this speaks for itself. I laughed myself into oblivion on this one. Check it out.

You Angsty Teen, You!

2010-02-17T07:08:00.000-08:00

I was reading my Twitters from last year. I used to be a lot less witty but I was also really angsty. I often complained about work in the chemistry lab and my summer college class, which, granted, was a lot for a teenager in her last high school summer.

I'm laughing at my sad attempts at being witty and sarcastic. I beg for more time, less work, and pity from the evil excel gods. I switch from auctioning off my job to being sad on my last day, from having a really bad day and then having a great weekend. I complain about not having the motivation to write and then post gleeful word counts on how far I've gotten on my novel (wow, I've written 65,000 words since September!).

However, some are hilarious (at least to me).

Blow off homework to write? I think so. :]

Practical Use For An Isotope #1: Making Angela feel like an idiot.

Summer chemistry homework rocks!

Three cheers for getting things done and still failing at life. :P

I love my president! He called Kanye West a jackass. :]

The Vampire Diaries... Like Twilight only more original and they can kiss without him going postal on her. I'm hooked.

Wrote a ton (up to 45,000), finished my suicide shoes, hung out with the boy, and gave my kitten a bath (she stunk). Productive weekend. :]

Scary that I used to consider this productive...

mdzbfsdjkghjkdfhngf Keyboardforehead. Today was meant to be Saturday... And then I woke up and it wasn't.

Men. Not so much.

Awesome. I have my drivers license test today... And its pouring rain. First rain of the season. Good planning.

PASSED MY DRIVER TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D Pouring rain, in a car I've driven once, after waiting an hour and a half! Woot!

It was a good day.

CSI:NY On Demand. Almost as good as chocolate. And less guilt.

College applications have switched me back.

Dear Twitter, you bore me today and for once, I will complete my calculus homework and will not give into your indulgent, time-sucking ways.

Twitter, Twitter, go away, come back on a more boring day.

My future husband is going to be a dancer. It's a requirement. And possibly a part-time brain surgeon.

Are my standards for my future husband unrealistic? Maybe. Am I going to abandon them? Hell no.

Need job.

Obviously a change of pace from the summer.

My mom and I vandalized a picture of Sarah Palin today. It was awesome.

We have awesome bonding sessions.

Long day. Will spend rest of 6 waking hours doing homework, reading, and eliminating the kink in my neck. Food may be included.

Cannot shed this angst.

I just got an idea for a four-part vampire story entitled Evening, Novel Lunar, Ellipse, and Smashing Morning! :P

Oh I'm so witty!

Evidently, I have lost my mind.

I woke up and it was 21 degrees outside... This is CALIFORNIA. Go away cold. You have no place here.

I need a life.

Hope for Spring

2010-02-16T11:27:00.000-08:00

These last couple of days, you wouldn't be able to tell that it's still winter! I took some really cool photos. I encourage you to take a look at the full size of each, especially the last two.

Our holly bush.

Daffodils.

Bees in the cheery blossom tree.

And this...

The 10th Piece

2010-02-15T10:55:00.000-08:00

My Florence art school focuses around figurative drawing and landscape painting so in order to balance my 10-piece submitted portfolio, I'm pulling out a really amazing landscape painting for my 10th piece. I've done landscapes before but usually I paint ocean views on wood and in a much smaller size. This lovely pieces is 18-24" and of my backyard (which is pretty cool to do). So far, I've just done the sky and clouds and the base for the hill.

Next up is the large oak trees at the base of the hill, some detail on the hill, and then the lovely vineyard with all the pretty mustard flowers that dot it right now.

To-Do Lists

2010-02-14T11:15:00.000-08:00

I love weekend to-do lists. When I have a list, I usually plow through things. I'm off to a late start because I was recovering from my sleepover yesterday and my cat mauled my right hand so writing and typing is a challenge. However, I have tomorrow off as well and I'm not doing anything from now until then except work and having dinner at my boyfriend's house tonight.

Also, I've noticed a trend. Everything important is due March 1st. FAFSA, the Cal Grant, my Senior Project portfolio, my Italian summer school application, and several scholarships are all due March 1st. You know how many I've actually completed? None. Why? Because our taxes aren't done yet. It's all a floodgate after that because most of them are waiting on those numbers.

Joy.

So with a short intermission to share my stress, I'm off again to complete my weekend to-do list!

Four-Day Weekend!

2010-02-11T22:16:00.000-08:00

You can bet I'm up to no good.

Today, me and some family members went out to dinner and I downed a 1/2 pound cheeseburger with bacon, grilled onion, tomatoes, and lettuce. I am now considering exploding and I've sworn off food until tomorrow night, with the exception of fruits and veggies.

Tomorrow, I'm hanging out with my boyfriend Robyn in the afternoon to watch the new Office episode and eat celery. Then Allison's coming over for a sleepover where we will watch the Olympics and The Time Traveller's Wife (as we are both huge fans of the book), and make origami dragons and onion boxes and theorize about Lost. It will be supremely epic.

Sunday, I have a date with Robyn. He's going to be making me dinner (I'm concerned seeing as he doesn't cook...) and we're going to have a Scrabble rematch. Last time we played, I was smashed in an embarrassing loss.

Monday is unplanned but I have lots of art to catch up on and I need to apply to my Italian art school and keep up with scholarships. It'll be good to have one down day.

Live long and prosper!

Italy, Baby!

2010-02-09T19:09:00.001-08:00

Project Summer Italian Trip is in full swing. I've got a California art school I'm applying to in Florence and my parents are preparing to set me with up with loads of United miles to get me there. Overall, expensive trip but I think we can get enough miles and scholarship money to make it work.

I'm hoping to leave the first month of June, right after graduation and return early July. I'll be staying in youth hostels, travelling the countryside, reuniting with my Italian kin, and drawing on the streets of Florence. I couldn't be more stoked.

Applications for the art school are due in March so I'm beginning that and then I'm teaching myself Italian because while I can understand much of it when spoken, I can't speak more than ten words.

All the stars are aligning. The art school is inexpensive, trustworthy, with transferable credits, and with dates that line up with my travel plans. I'm so excited. I just found my Standard Deviants Italian DVD! :D

Ciao bella!

Amber Eyes

2010-02-08T18:58:00.000-08:00

You know how parents take loads of pictures of their kids? Is it weird that I do that with my cat?

The other day, I walked in and my cat was sitting in the computer chair with a dash of light slicing across her face and the moment was absolutely perfect. Her body and ears were in darkness but the golden light was making her face glow. She was staring at me with her large, amber eyes like backlit grape leaves in autumn. I ran to snatch my camera before the moment was gone and long behold! I captured it!

One of the most impressive photos I've ever taken. Definitely remarkable for a point-and-shoot. How striking.

For the record, it took about five minutes to get her to open her eyes. All she wanted to do was nap in the warm light so I have ten other photos with the same lighting but her eyes are closed or half-open. This was the only decent one.

Can you imagine me as a mom... "No! You can't fall asleep until I get the perfect picture! Keep those eyes open or you're grounded buddy!"

Hope we all had a happy Monday!

Some of My Favorite Things

2010-02-06T08:43:00.000-08:00

I love tea,

and art,

spying on my cat with super telephoto.

I love this face,

and this face,

and THIS face.

KP and Makeup

2010-02-05T06:35:00.000-08:00

This is a story that is incredibly personal for me and I'd like to share it.

For the last two days, I've been leaving the house with absolutely no makeup on my face. None. I wake up, wash my face with cool water, and apply a lovely moisturizer from Aveeno.

I have a skin condition called Keratosis Pilaris (KP). I was born with it and it has plagued my self esteem throughout my life. Friends will touch my arms and ask if I'm cold because they think I have goose bumps. I have the rare treat of not only having it on my arms (where it is the worst) and my legs, but also on my face (keratosis pilaris rubra faceii). It's like having a bumpy, red rash all the time. And it is always worse in the winter.

"Though people with keratosis pilaris experience this condition year-round, it is during the colder months, when moisture levels in the air are lower, that the problem can become exacerbated and the goose bumps are apt to look and feel more pronounced in color and texture." Wikipedia

My brother had rosy cheeks as a child. I didn't not. That's my KP. I don't mind the bumpiness, dryness, and itchiness as much as the redness. People don't touch my face and the bumpiness isn't too noticeable visually. The dryness keeps my face acne-free so I can't really complain there. And I've had it long enough to know not to scratch--although the itch on my arms is often unbearable.

I have tried every moisturizing brand in the book. I've been to a dermatologist, I was put on an experimental regiment by a local cream-maker. Nothing helps. So, I have worn makeup every day of my life for about three years now to cover the redness. Until now.

I found this moisturizer: Aveeno Positively Radiant Daily Moisturizer. It's a sunblock, it evens tone, and it moisturizes. It's worked for me and after about a week of twice-daily use, the results are showing and the redness is way down.

I'm not wearing any makeup and I didn't Photoshop the picture. Do you see any redness? I've also been drinking a lot of water thanks to Camelbak which has probably improved my skin condition some.

The point is... I think a lot of women don't try--they just expect their skin to be beautiful all the time but the truth is, your skin won't always be beautiful. Whenever I got frustrated with a treatment not working, I would give up and give in to wearing makeup all the time.

This has been a positive experience in the new year and although my KP will never be healed, as there is no permanent treatment, I've found an easy method to keep it at bay. I couldn't be more thrilled with the results. My self confidence is way up and I've been inspired to ditch all the makeup.

Lost Season Premiere

2010-02-03T16:30:00.000-08:00

I am a die hard Lost fan. So, needless to say, I was stoked for last night's three hour premiere. The first hour was a recap; nifty but a bit boring (I passed the time by studying for my calculus test).

Allison and her mom also watch Lost so for the entire night, Allison and I were shooting texts back and forth with our reactions and theories and exclamation. Commercial during the recap hits and Allison calls.

Allison: Hey, the baby's name... It's Erin, right?

Me: Yup.

Allison: And who's the mom again?

Me: Claire...

Allison: Oh okay, that's what I thought. My mom wanted to know.

Hang up... Commercial ends...
Show: Aaron, Claire's baby who was born on the island...

We were cracking up. The recap covered pretty much everything. Good time for new Lost fans to join.

And then the show began...

Me: THE ISLAND IS UNDERWATER!!!

Allison (two seconds later): Underwater!!!

Like seven people died... One came back to life! One who we all thought was dead was actually alive but then died anyway... Not to mention, there are two of each character running around at the same time under different circumstances. Explain that Lost writers!

I am 150% more confused than I was before. Awesome. That's the sign of a successful Lost episode. However, it is the last season and us fans want answers. We deserve answers and I have a feeling that we will get them.

Art Portfolio

2010-02-02T05:09:00.000-08:00

I'm in AP Art this year and by May we need 12 Breadth pieces (aka- old, ugly things that we dislike but that got us to where we are now) and 12 Concentration pieces. I have my Breadth over, over, over! I'm working on my 4th and 5th pieces of my Concentration portion, two of which are shown here. These are listed according to when I did them (about).

Each can be enlarged.

Shadows and Lace
Art 1 - Portrait Drawing, Graphite
The only thing from Art 1 worth showing...

Electric
Art 2 - Prints, Ink Press
Kiera Knightly

Self Portrait
Art 2 - Prisma and Chalk Pastel
It looked cooler back then but this was the beginning of my creepy style.

Goodbye to the Morrow
AP Art - Prisma, Chalk Pastel, India Ink
Another one that looked cooler in the beginning. The Prisma loses contrast because it gets waxy so it looks bad on camera.

Strips
AP Art - Black and White Charcoal
2-hour practice

Shiny Objects Still Life (SOSL)
AP Art - Black and White Charcoal
Just to show that I am capable of doing things other than portraits. This was a real stretch of my technical skill.

Nightlight
AP Art - Graphite
Took me like half an hour.

Distance on the River
AP Art - India Ink, Water Color
I realized I needed to show something expressionist in my breadth.

Swim in Life
AP Art - Chalk Pastel
This went through 123,354,576,234 stages and may or may not go in my concentration.

Angel of Death
AP Art Concentration - Black and White Charcoal, India Ink, Cardboard, Acrylic Paint, Collage
Love this one. Her hands are skeletal!

My Dreamland
AP Art Concentration - Black and White Charcoal, Water Color
Best piece of art I've ever created. The end. AND, it's not creepy!!!

Stay tuned for more pieces!

February Resolutions

2010-02-01T16:34:00.000-08:00

My New Year's Resolution was to set months resolutions because everyone knows resolutions only work for about a month anyway. So I set mine for last month and I pretty much accomplished them all. Of course, I make really vague ones. This month, I'm hoping to make them a little more public.

Keep bedroom spotless

Finish Senior Project portfolio (sort of mandatory for my graduating)

Watch less TV

Work out more

Lose another 4 pounds

Do ALL my calculus homework

Finish at least 3 books

Blog more often

And of course I want to live to my full potential, in happiness, health, and education.

Cheers to February and another wonderful month of the new year!

Trying and Senioritis

2010-01-30T08:34:00.000-08:00

The other day, I was walking with my best friend Allison and she started talking about how she couldn't find the motivation to do anything. She lost focus in class, she didn't want to do homework, her drive was gone. She just couldn't figure out what it was.

Babe, it's second semester of our senior year in high school. You've got Senioritis.

She'll pull through. Her grades are amazing and she's highly intelligent. She'll find her motivation.

As for me, I've somehow stumbled upon an odd, unlikely glimmer of motivation deep within some far-off galactic speckling of stardust in another solar system, perhaps from a different time. This motivation is so completely and utterly foreign that it's encouraged me to not only remain focused but to try.

I think people get the impression that I don't work hard for my grades because I doodle in calculus and I have awesome friends I hang out with but the truth is, I work so hard. I really take pride in my educational career and I'm not afraid to say I'm an intelligent human being, nor do I feel like I'm bragging. Yes, I'm really good at learning but that doesn't mean I don't really try.

Last semester though, I didn't try as much as I could. I acknowledge that and my AP US History (APUSH) grade suffered for it (I got a B+). So this semester, I'm trying again. I think the reason I stopped trying is because I put everything I had into freshman year and I walked away with B's and a C or two.

I'm tired. I'm done with high school. I'm done with the silly social games. I'm done with the boundaries. I'm done with the standards. I'm done with not being able to reach my full potential because their idea of "perfect" is a mold I don't fit into. I'm done.

I'm ready for college.

But I'm going to play their game, one last time. I'm going to put my heart into it and I'm going to bend myself into their ridiculous mold. Why? Because I need to prove it to myself that I can adapt. Also I'm incredibly stubborn and I don't like B's. I don't like B's one bit. I'm aiming for my maximum 4.83 GPA because that's how I want to leave this school. That's their idea of perfect. It is the highest GPA you can achieve and I'm just a couple hundredths of a point away.

I've got something to prove.

To them.
To me.
To everyone.

I've still got some fight left in me. And there's no stopping me now.

These Moments

2010-01-29T06:55:00.000-08:00

No sarcasm, no wit. This is purely me and my inspiration.

Things have been crazy lately. Whenever I get a moment of silence and peace, I take the opportunity to really reflect. These moments have made my life infinitely more pleasant.

It's those mornings when I can kick back in my warm room, drinking hot green tea and working on homework.

These beautiful moments when I realize how fortunate I am to live where I do and have the things I do.

Those evenings when the sun is so vibrant, it lights up the vineyard like a firecracker of red and gold.

Late nights where trees hanging with raindrops create aquatic stars from the golden streetlight.

Moments like these are perfect.

AP Calculus

2010-01-27T07:14:00.000-08:00

I think I've complained about AP Calculus before but this post is designed to show you exactly what I do in this lovely class. Now, I need to tell you... I get A's in calculus so please don't doubt my integrity as a student when you see the following...

The thing is, I don't really take notes (ever actually, but particularly in calc) and I don't really do homework. I don't even pay attention in class. I read the textbook right before a test and then get an amazing score. It's a really easy class for me. I get math. Hate me. I invite you. Going to class is such a drag. I sit there with nothing to do. So I doodle. These are drawings scanned out of my AP Calculus notebook.

You can click on any of the following to get the full view!

Sketches for AP Art.

Actually really like this one! I'm obsessed with profiles.

Our teacher said "The algebra was intense" so I drew "The algebra" in tents. Get it!

Gen and Simon from Nightingale with notes on inflection points.

Don't ask. I think the bird is supposed to be Allison.

This was the joke that calculus hates us. The drawing looks like a mix between me and my best friend Robyn.

Gen and Simon again. I actually tried to take notes this day... Didn't work...

From yesterday! She's a Mousekateer! Inspiration: Margo from the book Paper Towns. Read it if you're a high school senior.

Christopher told me to draw it.

Originally I said the hood of my hat was like wolf fur but then we decided I was a squirrel somehow so then I said it was hybrid wolf-squirrel fur so I drew what that would look like. There was a dispute over the name.

Basically.

This is the extent of math I do in that class. I calculated my odds of getting into Stanford based on the number of people who applied and the number who they accept. 5% chance of getting in apparently! Woooohoooo!

I'm sure I'll have to do this again!

Dear Janet,

2010-01-26T06:24:00.000-08:00

Dear Janet of Atlanta, Georgia,

I received your Promise in my Dove Chocolate wrapper.

Believe you can - and go for it!

Now, usually I find these Promises wholly cliche and sappy. I just enjoy dark chocolate with crunchy almonds. This one is no exception but I still have to admit, I'm inspired.

You see, I had a pretty bad Monday. I woke up exhausted (despite sleeping for my typical 7 hours of sleep) and was fading in class. I ended up not having homework so I watched Superbad and a chocolate competition on Food Network (and then began craving it, thus eating the delicious snack cloistered beneath your Promise). I ended up going to sleep at 9 because I had a headache and I swear to you my eyelids weighed 50 pounds each!

So this Tuesday (today), things are going to be different. I am going to believe I can stay awake and I'm going to go for it. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how well this will keep in AP calculus after lunch. I mean, it's calculus... No promises.

But today will be different and I will try to keep your Promise present in my mind (and pocket) so that I can try to embody it in all the little things throughout the day. And maybe I can't stay awake through all my classes and maybe I still won't find the motivation for homework, but something will change and that will make all the difference. Thank you Janet from Atlanta, Georgia.

Love,
Angela

PS- In all sincerity, I love these Promises. It always feels like that person has something to tell you and it was meant for only you. Like fortune cookies only less cryptic and without the lottery numbers. Plus, I'd take dark chocolate over a fortune cookie any day.

Found a good one on the web site:

Look within yourself for the power of life

I feel like I should have inspirational quotes at the end of each of my posts.

Childhood, Oh, Sweet Childhood

2010-01-23T12:59:00.000-08:00

My dad just brought me this darling Thanksgiving card that I made him when I was 9 and in 4th grade.

FRONT
Gobble, Gobble, Gobble! That's the turkey way to say...

INSIDE
Did I say stupid Peacock!

BACK
'Kill Me! and have a great Thanksgiving day (Feast)!'
Happy Thanksgiving,
Ignor [ignore] the peacock,
To dad,
From (Angela) [my 9-year-old "signature"]

This was the same child who just a couple months before had written a letter to President Bush to "Pretty please with sugar and a cherry on top find and kill the person who broke our towers" on 9-11. No lie.

Oh, I was such a lovely child.

Rain, Rain

2010-01-22T20:02:00.000-08:00

I just finished the Monarch art piece and I started another one. AP Art is intense. We have about three days per art piece because we need to pull off 12 by at least mid-April. I have three now.

I make creepy, dark, morbid art. I do not make happy, cute things. So to say this piece is out of my comfort zone is really saying something. No creepy writing, no grim undertones, no dark themes. This is hardcore romantic.

So here's the idea: a couple at the end of a dock, kissing passionately in the pouring rain. On the water in front of the dock, a red umbrella floats away from them. In the background, a city scape with brilliant lights that reflect of the water hovers like a ghost.

The couple, the umbrella, and the dock are all being done in colored pencil (Prisma) and the city and water are going to be watercolor. The only color is the red umbrella and the gold, red, and green lights of the city. Everything else is black and white.

Thus far, I've done the couple and umbrella. It's taken me about 3 hours and I'm very proud of the couple especially.

What do you think? These guys are about 4-5 inches tall and we taken on my gimpy cell camera (hence, poor quality). I'm pretty proud of it. I can't wait to finish. Next class, I'm transferring class slides so I'll get all my slides on my drive and I can post them.

Until next time, think romantic thoughts.

Quelf

2010-01-19T16:25:00.000-08:00

Quelf n 1 : the greatest game ever invented 2 : a board game that makes you do ridiculous, insane, embarrassing things for no payoff or reward 3 : a wealth of laughter and clean fun that you would be insane not to appreciate

If you've never played this game, I highly suggest you find someone who has and you have a Quelf party. That's exactly what me and seven other friends did Saturday night. And we had a blast. I had only played this game once before but honestly, I could never get bored of it.

Amazingly, the things we did outside of gameplay were just as entertaining. This is me and two of my best friends Christopher and Allison. They make my world complete.

Allison, doing one of hundreds of wacky things you have to do. She couldn't move...

This is Chris, being Chris... The deer in the headlights on the left is me. I had to find and wear something with a chinstrap for the rest of the game.

I was not a happy camper.

Christine... Miming I think. Or doing a funky dance.

Her thumbs are dueling dragons. We had to take bets on the winner. My thumbdragon, Kimbizzle (right thumb--apparently I got the name wrong), won.

The thing is, if you haven't played it, get your sticky little hands on it. It's very worth it. No one cares who wins or loses (to be honest I think we stopped the game before anyone legally won) but we had a blast anyway. The trick is not to care what people think about it. If you're self conscious, the magic doesn't work. It's wonderful therapy acting like a dork. Really soothes the soul.

This is what teenagers really do at parties when the adults of the house are in Tokyo. We play Quelf, make chocolate chip pancakes with choclate syrup, eat tater tots and carmel pops, wrestle and hug, and splash in puddles without shoes or socks.

What a great way to spend Saturday night.

My Computer Hates Me

2010-01-17T13:24:00.000-08:00

It's official!

In my room, I have a computer in my room that is older than I care to remember. It used to be the family computer way back when until we upgraded right before the launch of Vista to a 22" widescreen Dell that has more space than we know what to do with. So I got the old, ugly, large, slow computer. I cleaned it up, bought a larger moniter off a friend, and stripped it down to the bare minimum. It has a Desktop, Word Processor, and Windows Media Player. That's it.

In essence, I use that computer for music, writing, and writing with music playing. It's great, it works for me, it's super speedy, and the keyboard is old and broken in. It is the perfect tool for writing (I used to have an old, used laptop which died, taking 50% of my 12-and-under writing with it).

With an old computer comes some really, really stupid problems. And I've taken a couple screenshots to demonstrate what I mean.

This is Nightingale, on Word. For some reason, Word felt the need to put its own say into what I was writing... That's okay. I can ignore that.

This is what really gets me.. I'm trying to install a new device and this is what happens...

Translation for the non-computer savvy: Dear user, the service called "Help and Support" that you've requested is not working. To see if you can fix this problem, please open the service called "Help and Support".

...

My computer hates me.

The Monarch

2010-01-15T22:32:00.000-08:00

I wrote a short story for the first time in ages this last week. The idea came out of no where...

It's about a young married couple, Amy and Robert. The story is told from Robert's point of view... After he dies. He overdoses on accident at age 25 and is left as a guardian angel on earth to protect and watch over Amy after he is gone. The story is about Amy and how she learns to cope with his death. She begins to realize that there may be more to dying than she had ever anticipated.

The story is very short--about 8 pages and just over 5000 words--but I feel like it's a very powerful story about loss and tragedy and the strength love can give to someone. Because I feel so passionate about this, I'm also doing an art piece based on the story that I can post when it's done. It depicts Amy standing in front of her cement wall with wings tattooed on her back and writing on the wall behind her. It's a scene from the story and I find myself becoming very passionate about the piece. It's paint, ink, and chalk pastel. I'll finish it next week and get a picture up.

In the mean time, here is the beginning to The Monarch.

I never thought I would end up living more in death than in life. We all imagine how we're going to die but nobody can imagine what it's like after. I learned that death is not the end. Nor should it have to be.

You know how they say the pain stops when you see the light? Well, it doesn't happen like that. At least it didn't for me. It only got worse.
I was born on March 16, 1985 and I died on October 4, 2010. As soon as I felt myself leave my body, I saw myself like my soul had simply slipped out of its fleshy shell and floated to the ceiling. But that mortal pain—well, I couldn't shake that.
How does a boy in his mid-twenties die alone in his bedroom? I'll tell you right now, it wasn't of natural causes. They called it suicide. In truth, it was an accident: tragic in all sense of the word. If it was suicide, well, then I had attempted suicide every day of my life since the start of college.
That was back when I thought Amy was the most hopeless disaster of a girl I had ever met. It was the summer of 2003. I was an 18-year-old punk from California and she was a high-class city girl straight out of boarding school in New York. We actually met in Mexico. I was partying with the other high school graduates and she was building houses for the homeless.
I was in the city at a dusty tavern, throwing back my third beer of the afternoon. A ruckus at the entrance drew my attention away from my drink.
A girl stumbled in, head down, tears in her eyes. Even with dirt on her face, I could tell she was an American with her reddish-brown hair shimmering in the dim light. She had glasses, freckles, fair skin, and gray-blue eyes. She was dressed in dirty cargo pants and a charity shirt with a map in her hands. Clearly, she was lost. I had no way of knowing in that moment that I was going to marry that girl.

So that's it. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the small bit that you've read. I feel like the story is powerful and meaningful. It's rich with emotion and turmoil, sadness and recover. It's short but I'm considering taking it on as a novel when I finish Nightingale.

The Thing About Twilight

2010-01-12T19:13:00.000-08:00

I love Twilight.
I hate Twilight.

Confused? Great! So am I!

The thing about Twilight is that it is a poorly-written, poorly-constructed, recycled plot about a stereotypical teenage girl, Bella, who is courted by a unrealistic, horribly overprotective vampire, Edward. In the end, Bella falls for Edward instead of the handsome, normal, sane, long-time friend Jacob. She claims everlasting love within about three months of meeting this Edward, marries him at a ridiculously young age, and has a disgusting pregnancy in which the baby grows to the size of a five-year-old before eating its way out of Bella's womb, thus killing her and turning her into a vampire.

Sorry but... no thank you.

At the same time, Twilight is a thrilling love triangle in which a heavy-conflicted Bella (who is greatly improved by Kristen Stewart's image) must choose between the enticing and beautiful Edward who offers a forbidden and mysterious world (which is something that realistically, any girl would fall for) and Jacob, a fairly ordinary boy, albiet a werewolf, (who is played by the gorgeous 17-year-old Tayler Lautner--yum).

And okay, okay, deep down, as a teenage girl, I crave this sort of thing.

Twilight Really Sucks has become one of my favorite fan sites. I read an article about why they don't hate people who like Twilight which I found more enjoyable than any piece of about Twilight that I've ever read. They have a quote from this lady that basically describes Twilight as a Twinkie. It is perfect for how I feel about Twilight. Except I don't like Twinkies...

"... you go and get yourself a Twinkie when you have a very specific kind of craving. If you want gourmet pastry, or even a homemade cake, you know where to get that. If you're eating a Twinkie, you clearly know what you want and why you're eating it, and you know that it's not good to eat very many of them, but... you know... sometimes you just want one..." by Cleolinda

I get too grossed-out reading the books anymore but the movies are great. Watching it is not only enjoyable and satisfies the craving but it only takes a couple hours out of my day. In fact, I really liked New Moon. Taylor Lautner and Edward's absence made that very possible. The movies never fail to live up to everything people expect them to be and that is all I ask for.

I think I'll substitute reading Twilight with watching The Vampire Diaries, the CW's new hit vampire show, for my vampire romance fix. Great acting, great actors, and a way better plot than Twilight.

And that's the thing about Twilight.

Nightingale

2010-01-10T13:38:00.000-08:00

I claim here and there that I'm a writer but what evidence do you have? Nightingale is my current novel that I've been working on since the summer of 2008.

"Welcome to Nowhere"

Nightingale is the story about a sarcastic, hardened city girl named Genevieve who is in the foster care system. After her last foster parent died in an incident she blames herself for, she gets moved to Caraville: a nowhere town where the rumors have spread that she's a murderer. Her new foster parent is Muriel, a quirky old lady who never had kids of her own and doesn't know the first thing about parenting. Genevieve has to learn how to cope with her neighbors fearing her and her peers hating her. The story spans the summer in Caraville, a magical time when fireflies are alight and romances can bloom as quickly as the morning glories. It follows Genevieve as she navigates the stormy seas of guilt while trying to rebuild her life.

I can not express how passionate I am about this story.

This is the opening:

A heavy, low-drifting fog was swirling against the window, leaking in through the sliver between the glass and the ruined rubber edge. It smelled of death. Looming ahead, a vast, gray building sat bluntly against the horizon, squandering smoke. Soon the fetid haze was so heavy inside the car, I had to hold my nose shut with my fingers, trying not to breathe in the burning decay of flesh. The entire car smelled of the putrefaction.
The leather moaned under me as I leaned forward in my seat slightly. "How much longer till we get there?" I asked between thinly-parted lips. I held my breath in the palm of my warm hand, feeling as if I might vomit at any moment.
The agent's mane of frizz-curled, brown hair shook slightly like an animal, caged against the head of her seat. It was bursting forth from behind her ears in a violent attempt to engulf her head.
"Half an hour," she answered patiently. She seemed untroubled by the smoke but I imagined her hair fashioned as a filter.
Stifled by the crematory smoke, the Volkswagen Rabbit was scented of cheap cigarettes and sweat. It was a dusty, company car and most of the leather interior was pealing from kids just like me picking at it in anxious anticipation.
My type was the unknown breed of vagrants. We never knew what to expect next in life, constantly being thrown into and out of unknown situations. For once in my life, this glum cycle had seemed to halt—that was, until today. In perhaps the very car that had served as my chariot to Jameson, I was on the road again, driven by a middle-aged woman who's most interesting endeavor in life was kissing a toad in her fourth year of school under the false pretenses that it was a prince.

Here are some of my favorite excerpts that describe characters. They'll give you a sense of what the story is like.

Muriel
"What are those things on the tree?" I asked, sitting to where she gestured.
The branches of the great oak were festooned with groups of paper squares. I couldn't quite make out what they were from the porch.
"Hallmark cards," Muriel replied.
As if this place couldn't get any stranger, let's tie greeting cards on strings and hang them from monstrous trees!

Marie (this character is based on myself)
"Welcome," she said, her voice mimicking the door bell. "I'm Marie Rhoades. Is there anything I can help you find?"
I was too taken aback to respond right away so I shook my head feebly and began shuffling through a rack I picked at random near the door, hoping it would deter her.
"You're looking at men's clothing," Marie said over my shoulder, making me jump. "You're new here, aren't you? I would remember a pretty little face like yours. Almost everyone shops here. Believe me, I know everyone. Oh! I know who you are! You just moved in with Muriel. Welcome to Caraville! I hope you like it here. How's Muriel doing? She doesn't shop here anymore. In fact, I'm fairly certain she doesn't get out much anymore. How long have you been here?"
I waited patiently for her to shut up before deciding to look at her. "Could you help me find some clothes?" I asked, ignoring her tirade.

Simon
He sighed and leapt from the ladder. Straightened to his full height, he was more than six feet tall and towered over me. He wore a long-sleeve shirt under a brown tweed vest and tight jeans. A peculiar pendant secured to a long chain winked against his chest.
"Here," he said, reaching for the book. "I'll give it a look."
He opened the journal and the spine cracked in response. "It's definitely old. We're talking forty, fifty years. The handwriting is decadent, that of a teenage girl's to be sure." He gave me a coy look. "Are you sure these aren't Muriel's from her younger days?"
I rolled my eyes. I couldn't imagine Muriel as a teenage girl, let alone a poet. "Yes," I said.

Lucy (based on my best friend Allison)
"What are those?" she asked, pointing to the tally marks I had engraved in my wall. I had placed the seventh one in that morning.
"Days I've been here. Sort of like a homemade calendar," I explained.
"I'm sure Muriel appreciates that," she said sarcastically. "Have you gotten out much since you've been here?"
"Once. I have an irrational fear of getting pummeled by rocks. Not sure why." My voice was dry.
"I can see how a hermit would be prone to ridiculous phobias," Lucy shot back, mirroring my nature.
"Romantic literature, huh?" I said, raising an eyebrow. She had proved herself worthy of my time. Any person who could hold their own against my mockery was good enough for me. "Don't they bore you?"
"Never," she said. "I love trying to find the hidden meaning in everything."
"And your charming friends," I said, nodding to the broken window. "They can't be too into that stuff I imagine."
"Oh, of course not," Lucy said laughing. "They don't really read books."
After that, we got to talking about our favorite authors, debating the meaning of specific symbolic events in our favorite books, and laughing. Lucy laughed all the time. She seemed to find everything funny and when I mentioned this to her, she just laughed some more. By the end of the afternoon, my sides and cheeks hurt from smiling so much. She was able to rebuke any attempt at derision I threw at her, coming up with equally witty insults. As the afternoon moved into the evening, we made our way back down to the kitchen where Muriel was doing a crossword in a newspaper dated twenty years in the past.

Jesper
"Genevieve, right?" he asked, still smiling. "You're the sixteen-year-old, female killer."
He was mocking me but it affirmed that everyone knew I killed someone after all. I didn't know what to say. I didn't appreciate being made fun of or underestimated.
He paused, as if waiting for a reply before continuing. "So tell me, are the rumors true?"
I took a deep breath, quickly getting impatient with him. "What rumors?" I asked, knowing exactly what he was talking about.
"Did you really kill someone?"
Even after all the police reports, all the questions, not a soul had asked me that question. I stopped and looked at my reflection in the other window that gazed out at the giant, moonlit oak.
"Decide for yourself." It seemed like a good, truthful answer without convicting myself.
"I'm sorry." His words made me cringe.

Gus (and Muriel, Lucy, and Gen)
"The pleasure is mine," Gus said softly before dropping my hand. "Joanna has already told me so much about you."
"Joanna?" I asked, shooting a loaded look at Muriel.
"My middle name," she explained with a fake smile. "I used to go by it, way back in the day. Mr. Swain is an old friend."
"Mr. Swain, we've met before," Lucy said sweetly. "I'm Lucy Engles."
"Oh yes, the Engles girl," Gus said, smiling broadly. He took Lucy's hand to kiss as well and did the same to Muriel as she guided him inside.
I shot a playful look at Lucy, raising my eyebrows briefly. She giggled in response. We were thinking the same thing: Muriel and Gus were old lovers.
We made our way out to the backyard and I took a seat across the table from Gus, staring intently at him. "An old friend, huh?" I asked, thinking I could uncover something about their past.
"Yes, Gen," Muriel said, flashing another forced smile. "We've established this."
Lucy sat beside me, across from Muriel, smiling happily like she knew a deep, dark secret.
"It is just so nice of you, Gus, to bring Muriel groceries every week," I said, nodding my head sensationally.
"Gen!" Muriel said loudly. I looked at her with my eyebrows raised. "Don't be rude; pass the green beans around."
I smiled politely and passed the dish to Lucy who took it sniggering. She was overwhelmed with the giggles, acquiring strange looks from Gus.
"She likes to laugh," I told him, winking.
"Genevieve, darling," Muriel said, her voice sickly sweet. "Why don't you tell us all about… your… times… here in Caraville!" Her voice was choppy like she was improvising, grasping for straws.
"Oh yes, wonderful dinner conversation. Filled with shattered windows, rocks, and being a hermit," I said, smiling as big as I could. I must have looked ridiculous. The sarcasm in the air was thick.

Well thanks for reading. I hope you've enjoyed what you've read so far. I plan on finishing the story by May (I kind of have to seeing as it's my senior project and that's when it's due officially). After that, I'll probably spend a few months editing the heck out of it and then I'm going to move into the publication process. That's the plan. Who knows? You could be purchasing Nightingale in book stores a year from now. Who knows?

Are You Freaking Kidding Me?!

2010-01-07T20:31:00.000-08:00

I am a senior in high school. This means a lot of things, none of which include any sworn statement that I don't make mistakes. It does mean that I...
(a) am almost of adult age
(b) am nearly done with public education
(c) have the option to pursue venues of higher learning.

I am excited for all of the aforementioned. However, I am learning that in order to achieve these things, you have to go through hell first. And I am.

On Sunday (the 3rd), I was working my college application for Stanford University, a very, very, very prestigious school. It is the long-shot of all my colleges choices but I love the campus, I love the idea of it, and I would be honored to be able to go there.

I had the whole application done except for three little essays which I was ready to plug in and submit. No big deal. I planned ahead and did much of my application a long while back. I was ready to be done with it.

I log into my application (everything is electronic now) and to my horror, discovered I had missed the Stanford deadline by two days. I originally had another college on my list and had gotten their deadlines mixed up.

My reaction was... extreme.

I have lived and breathed the idea of applying to Stanford since I was a sophomore in high school and my parents told me Stanford would pay for my tuition. From that moment on, I pushed myself to the brink to do well in school and I've pulled virtually straight A's since. I have dragged myself through hell to be good enough for Stanford. I have sacrificed time, energy, and a brilliant social life for this. I wear my Stanford shirt every day I have an important test at school to remind myself that I can't slip. I cried today because we had to turn in a Calculus assignment that I didn't fully understand. I have nightmares where everyone in my class gets accepted by them except for me. When I think about me going to college, I see myself at Stanford. And I had just killed my chances on a simple error.

There were tears. There were a lot of tears. I cried out to my dad who read the deadline at least five times over before realizing that yes, I had just done one of the stupidest things in my life. He urged me to finish my application anyway and submit it, just in case. I spent the next hour typing my essays into the application (just to torture me more, the application wouldn't let me Copy+Paste my essays in so I had to retype them). I then sent a very sincere email to the admissions staff explaining that I had made a simple mistake and if there was anything they could do to make sure my application would be reviewed, I would be eternally grateful. They emphasize the fact on their web site that they do not under any circumstance accept applications that come in after the deadline. The screen was blurry from my crying.

There was talk of taking a year off school and reapplying next year. There was talk of transferring after two years at another university. Looking back, those were a couple of very scary hours.

A couple hours later and more sobbing, crying, moping, brooding, and chocolate-eating than I care to discuss, I received this email from Stanford's Admission staff:

"Because of Common Application credit card payment and application submission issues, we have extended the deadline to submit both the Common Application and the Stanford Supplement to 11:59 PM (Pacific Time), Sunday, January 3."

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!

There was much screaming, laughing, and look-at-the-screen-right-this-instant dancing. Alright, so they're going to review me after all. My chances of being accepted are pretty slim but at least now, I will get my fair opportunity.

I'll let you know come March what happens. Whichever way they decide to go, I will be happy knowing that I did everything I could. Throughout the whole thing, my mom kept trying to tell me that everything happens for a reason. Maybe they do.

First Step: Breathe

2010-01-05T19:47:00.000-08:00

You know, I've been thinking about creating my own blog for a while but I never imagined how I would start it. I've had ideas buzzing around in my head on what it could be about, things I could share, posts I'm going to write eventually, pictures I'm going to share with the world. Somehow, I never anticipated how hard it would be to put in that first post.

I could start by explaining who I am but honestly, I feel like the first step is just to breathe. Writing has never been difficult for me. When I get a pen in my hand or my fingers on the keyboard, it just flows. Writer's block is something I've never really experienced. Usually when I get stuck on a story, I can simply move on to another. This isn't quite the same. I can't just move on to another blog and skip over this one for a while. However, I'm finding that if I just breathe, the words come to me.

Here's what you need to know: I'm a 17-year-old girl from California who feels like she has something to share with the world. I need that release and maybe you need to be reminded what it's like to be a teenager or that you're not alone with how you're feeling. I think that if you stick with me, you'll get to know me pretty well without more of an introduction.

Oh yeah, and I have the coolest cat on the planet.

So here it is, the first post. I guess that wasn't so hard after all.